kitten do not read this

i have a problom geting my stuff in order this is just typed how i was thinking at the time it is not in any order if that bothers you sorry

how words hurt is when you date some one that you r in love with and you tell her that every day you talk and she tells you the same thing and do stuff that you have never done befor and thought you would what till marige to do and than you do some of it with some one you love and after you give her almost every thing that you can(not sex but very close) then she says "I ONLY THINK OF YOU AS A FRIEND AND THAT IS ALL I HAVE EVERY THOUGHT OF YOU AS" is it me or is this shit confusing. every think i did with her i never regretid till she toled me that and even after she toled me that we still did stuff and every time i hear think of you as a friend i wont to cut and some times i do but most of the time i talk to a shrink about it i dont know if i can every tell any one that i love them again cuz this is not the first time that i fall in love with someone and thay tell me that thay only think of me as a friend. i have been in love with her for about 4 years now and i just toled her about 4-5 months ago thin we dated now i am just so deprest the only time i am not is when i am cutting dose that make me a bad person